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Halfway with Frustrations

Text by Tom Hintz

Posted – 2--2017

At this writing, I am roughly halfway through the sequence of chemotherapy and radiation. Though I do sneak hopeful glances in the dark, nothing I consider important on me glows in the dark which is something of a disappointment. I was hoping for at least one fun aspect to all this and perhaps a DC Comic character on the other end of the stupidly hopeful scale. No such luck so we focus on the radiation killing the cancer within me.

The doctors say that I am tolerating the chemo and radiation better than most which does nothing but cause me to recognize that lots of other people dealing with way more and doing it far better than me. That realization makes it clear that the “woe is me” tactic isn’t going to fly within this group of cancer fighters.

The biggest frustrations in all of this is not the cancer or the treatments. Its my inability to get things around my websites done on a schedule that lets me think that I am in even small ways functional. Weather has played a big part in holding the flow of content back because we simply cannot get out to the field during conditions that allow even marginal video captures. The Alzheimer's plays a part in this as well because I seldom remember the project I wanted to work on during a given day, usually until I am in bed for the night, then my mind wakes up. I make lists of what I want to do then promptly lose the lists. I am at the very least consistent.

The interruption in content flow is directly responsible for the traffic numbers for my sites going into freefall which slows the flow of cash that supports most of these efforts. This is where I am very aware of my being halfway through the chemo/radiation cycle with a minimum of two months to finish those protocols and resting up to withstand the surgery and then recover from the surgery itself which likely will cover a few weeks at least. Then there is the smaller possibility (I hope) of another round of chemo and radiation after the operation depending on what the surgeon finds while rummaging around my insides looking for damaged parts. There just is no way to shorten this downtime that I am aware of and that makes keeping the lights on a major priority now.

Then yesterday it was determined that my PICC line through which the chemo is administered had somehow moved from its desired position in the main artery next to my heart where the cancer drugs diffuse in that heavy flow area. I wound up never leaving the hospital but nonetheless registering three times: once for chemo, once to get an extra confirming the PICC movement and another to get the PICC changed out. That meant we were at the hospital over 12 hours yesterday alone. Needless to say, I had begun muttering things it was best the staff was not hearing.

So onwards with the treatments, surgery and whatever the doctors decide after that. I am hopeful of getting back to flying and doing my web sites with a new level of energy if the doctors are right about this tumor sapping my energy in recent months. There are lots of requests for more plane reviews and I will be doing my best to make them happen as cash allows. I can do a lot of the preliminary writing and photography now and then finish the reviews with maiden and flying videos as the weather and I get more dependable.

Stick around and watch. I fully intend to get back up to speed and if the doctors are right about surviving the cancer for five or ten years I might be able to go on a content generating binge that will help the sites and their income producing potential in big ways. That also means that my sites will get more useful for you which has always been the plan. I make the sites good for you, you keep coming back to use them and that eventually converts to the cash needed to fund these sites.

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